


Island

by fairygyeom



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 17:29:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16665118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairygyeom/pseuds/fairygyeom
Summary: You were his everything, until you were nothing.





	Island

JB pushed her to the bed and didn’t waste a second to taste her skin. The bitterness of the alcohol was replaced by her sweetness. Whatever loud sounds the club they came from still echoing in JB’s ears were replaced by her soft mewling, as he touched her with urgency.

But that’s all it was. Replacement and rush. When JB didn’t find distraction in the club he had frequented the past nights, he thought it’s not the place but the person he should change instead. He grabbed the girl who reminded him of you the most. It was a contradictory, but at least he made a step.

“God, yes! Do it like that,” she said as JB pounded into her.

It was off. If it was you, you would have teased him about his urgency. You were adamant that he should relax and release all of his stress through your passionate night. It was never just physical. With you, he calms down and finds himself. This… whatever awful thing he’s doing right now, makes him feel nothing close to relaxed. He’s lost. And he’s getting even more lost without the sweet sounds you make or your scent to guide him to ecstasy.

God, he’s thinking of you again.

JB felt her squeezing on him as she reached her high. He tried to ride it to find his own. If it was you, he would be done just by the sight of your blissful face. When he looked at who’s under him though, it was incomparable. You were more… beautiful. You were more… sweet and understanding. And his. You were so much more than this random girl he wouldn’t remember two hours from now.

What was he doing? Why was he being stupid all over again?

“Hey, where are you going?” she asked weakly after seeing JB, with his still hard glory, getting out of the bed and picking up his clothes. “You’re not done yet. I can help you.”

He didn’t reply. He felt disgusted of himself. The alcohol hadn’t left his system yet, but sober or drunk, he knew it was useless. He wouldn’t be able to forget you. He wouldn’t find someone to love him and make love to him the same way you did.

You were his everything. And you weren’t there anymore.

***

_JB was never vocal. He liked using actions to show how he feels. Approaching you and asking you to repeat the tune you were mindlessly humming was his best effort at flirting. While he really was interested in that random melody, he could have just let you pass and not be a creepy stranger._

_“You know, actions without words are confusing,” you teased him one night. You were at his secret studio and after hours of unproductivity, you decided to take a break and just chat._

_It was already evening. JB had offered to drive you home, if you still want to work until later. You could also stay in the studio, he said. There were two rooms and plenty of chairs._

_“What’s with the sudden philosophy?” he asked before drinking the strawberry milk you brought. You knew how much he liked them._

_You shrugged. “I don’t know. I just felt like telling you.”_

_He put down the carton. He was aware of what you’re insinuating. When he saw you that day, he was immediately attracted to you. And when you agreed to help him compose, he wasn’t dumb not to believe that you’re attracted to him as well. Working together, the attraction became something more. No matter how tired he was from work, he would still have a smile on his face knowing that he’d be seeing you in a couple more hours. He learned to be more patient and trusting._

_You made him a better person. He never believed that someone could make him change so much in just a span of months. So what other explanation there was than him being in love with you? You were the reason for everything._

_The only problem was he didn’t know if you’re on the same page. Did your attraction to him stay as that—mere attraction? Or did the late nights you spent with deep conversations and drives out of town bloom into something more intimate?_

_“Aren’t you feeling cold?” he asked to get away from your stare. He couldn’t ask it. You made him nervous._

_“No, I like the cold,” you said with a smile, though the goosebumps on your skin were evident._

_JB stood up to get you a blanket, despite your denial. He handed it to you, and you could only mutter thanks._

_“Cover yourself so you wouldn’t get sick. We still need to come up with something before the week ends.”_

_You forced a smile. Sometimes, you wonder if you’re just reading things wrong. He’s just really gentlemanly and dedicated to work, so these late nights with him didn’t give him thoughts like the one you’re having. He didn’t like you that way. He was being a professional and there you were, pushing him to confess something he didn’t feel._

_“And I don’t want you getting sick,” he continued after a moment. Seemed like he was also thinking deeply during the past seconds. “You wouldn’t be able to go with me on a date if you catch a cold.”_

_You wanted to hear it for a long time, so actually hearing it became a blur to you. Were you just imagining things? If it was your frequent daydreams, you should be watching the sunset and he’s holding your hand as he say the words._

_But you’re in a cold room and JB couldn’t look at you. This was real. This was more than any of your imagines._

_“We’re dating,” you blankly asked so it came out like a statement._

_“If you could see it in you that you want that too,” he blabbered, the nerves taking over his ability to speak coherently._

_***_

 

 _The next months were all you could have fantasised. JB gave you nothing but happiness. You would spend hours making songs and talking about anything and everything. Sometimes, you would just sit at your spot on the sofa and watch him weave words and tunes to masterpieces. You would go on drives together where he photographs you with the best view, and he would stare at those images when you’re away, thinking that_ you _were the best view. You became his muse, while he became your home. No blankets could give the warmth you felt when his arms were around you._

_There were little fights, of course, when he didn’t listen to your concerns and ended up overworking himself. But he never heard the words “I told you so”. You were patient and loving._

_Maybe you were too patient and loving._

 

_“Jaebeom-ah, you really should go have your back checked—”_

_“I don’t care!” he shouted right in your face. “Can you just shut up for a moment?! I told you I’m fine! Do you see me limping? I’m not a kid.”_

_He didn’t regret the words right away. He could see very well how the light in your eyes faded, but instead of annoyance at his outburst, you looked concerned. And he hated it. He hated how you look at him like he’s always the best. He’s not the best. You’re blinded by your feelings for him._

_Look at what’s happening. He’s screaming at you in the middle of the streets. You should get away from him._

_“Jae—”_

_“I’m going,” he declared, not letting your hand even graze his arm. The strong façade would fall down with just your touch._

_He knew he needed a break. He had never felt that overwhelmed by his feelings. He thought it wasn’t healthy how you never get upset despite his hard-headedness or the many times he stood you up and the next day, you would be there to accept whatever shitty reason he came up. No, he wasn’t cheating. He could never hurt you like that. But if you keep on trying to ignore these problems and pretend they don’t matter, JB was afraid you’ll just break one morning and leave him. Some people already expressed concern about how your world revolved around him._

_He needed to give you space. He needed you to realise that._

_JB crossed the streets right before the lights turn green, so you wouldn’t have the chance to follow him. He looked back to give you a warning that he didn’t want to see you in his studio tonight._

_But what he saw changed his life. They were right when they said he’s bad for you. Your love for him was too strong that you didn’t care much of anything else. Not the red stoplight, not the car horns, not the screaming. Nothing stopped you from your death. And JB was even the one who caused it, with his overthinking and wrong decisions._

_***_

JB arrived at what used to be your sanctuary. Without you there, it’s just a remnant of the biggest mistake he did in his life. He picked up the discarded blanket and had the urge to smell it. He remembered how you never really liked using it, so the scent was just of a detergent. Or maybe it’s because you’ve been gone for so long, even the blanket had let go of you.

But not JB. Never JB.

“Come home, baby,” he called out while looking at where you’re supposed to be sitting. “I miss you.”

***

> _There is a little hole that won’t fill up my heart_
> 
> _In that there is a very small island_
> 
> _That you can’t come on_
> 
> _Maybe we are in a different space_

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of a songfic series collaboration on Tumblr, based from JB's Def Vol.3 Mixtape.


End file.
